THE BOOK OF SHREKMON
by sirlagsalot666
Summary: The life-story of one who found comfort in the presence of Shrek the Almighty Ogre-lord
**Chapter** **1**

I was only seventeen years old, I worked an ogre-working workload, in shit conditions, for shit pay. I went home to an uncaring family who would take every opportunity to dehumanize and demoralize me.

The only joy I found in life was thinking about Shrek and his Shrektastically Shrekshural adventures and using what little downtime I had to rejoice and make merry in the name of Shrek the Almighty Ogre-lord.

While writing some highly dubious Shrek fan-fiction in my dimly light room, I noticed the unmistakable stench of onions, puzzled by this, I looked across to my bed and saw a hulking green mass, it was Shrek.

"Well now, what I ya waitin for, laddy, I'm freezin my arse off over ere". I knew at once what I had to do, I propelled myself onto the bed, landing in a pile at Shrek's feet.

His eshreked shrock, towering ogre me. I begin to crawl up towards the dick, glistening with onion juice, as if it were a lubricant.

Finally, I can hold back no longer, I wrap my lips around Shrek's shrock and begin sucking violently.

He roars an ogre-powering roar as I'm am filled to the brim with his musky onion based liquid

Shrek then lifts me up and inserts his shrock in my arse and buttfucks me for an hour straight before finally climbing out of my window and lands with a thud on my front lawn

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

 **Chapter 2**

I was only 30 years old, at home, being a dolebludger, feeling hungry, I walk over to the fridge to fetch an onion.

as I open the door I realize "we're out of onions", I slip on my Shrek themed track-pants and trusty Shrek 2 Tee-shirt.

Leave trailer, and start for the Convenience Shack, down the road, about half way to the Shack, I notice some Farquaads loitering in an ally way, I stop and stare at them, they start approaching me, "Farquaad is love, Farquaad is life", they start chanting.

As I started fearing of my layers, there was a brilliant green burst of light, Shrek appears on one knee, shrouded in Onion Mist.

"This is my Swamp" he bellows, he heads towards the Farquaads, who are now halted, the look of horror on their faces, they backup, towards the wall, were they were before, Shrek's ogre-powering figure now towers over and encircles them

Just as the Farquaads had finished shitting themselves Shrek's Shrock begins growing until it has such a girth that it crushes the Farquaads against the wall

I'm safe now, "dis penis won't pleasure it's self now laddy" Shrek tells me

With those words in my head, my Shrek themed Track pants and Brony panties, melt away,

Shrek fucks my arse up against the brick wall in the middle of a pile of Farquaad corpses, this goes on until sunset, after which he gives me a sack of onions.

Shrek then levitates off into the distance, I head home with no pants while covered in blood, organs and foamy onion sauce

After having my onion I watch Shrek while sitting on a bean bag with no pants and no undies

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

 **CHAPTER 3**

I was only 89 years old. It was my 90th birthday. I knew that after a year of living with testicular cancer, my time was running short.

Family *sigh* Farquaad Scum. They had all despised me for my love of the Ogre-lord. After berating me some more.

It was time for the birthday cake. Knowing it would be my final birthday wish. I wished to be in the presence of the Ogre lord one last time. "I wish to be rid of these Farquaads and to be taken to the Holy Swamp by Shrek. In the name of the onion, the swamp, and the ogre. Amen" I finish.

As my family were about to recommence berating me. Shrek bursts from the birthday cake, Covered in chocolate topping, his eshreked shrock impales my heathen family members in a downpour of gizzards and onion juice.

"Hey now! It's time to receive the second layer of you're wish my son" Shrek's words echo in my ears. I obey. I get on all fours as Shrek removes my pants. He inserts his green pecker up my pooper.

And in my final moments of existence, I realized I was free in the swamp at last. Shrek approaches and tells me "Ya in the Holy Swamp now laddy. Anytime ya want a taste of the old onion, you let me know."

Shrek is love Shrek is life.


End file.
